I love my family and deardeer

This is a record of my life from the day I started my treatments for stage 3c cancer.

Thursday, December 09, 2010


Thank you Lord, for sending Angel-lah to me once again with an enlightening message and spiritual healing.
:~~) Amen

Sunday, December 13, 2009


车欢送了隧道 天抛弃了白鹭
天空 突然静悄 像遗下我 流浪到 某一个岛
荒草抱抱落叶 花瓣暗暗羡慕
开心极为深奥 就凴直觉怀念你走进了地牢

可笑 地球 繁华遗下这个叛徒
并不痛苦 我消失漆黑之中 难道会孤独

我心不再跳 恐怕有别人围绕

盛世在摇 晚风在摇 多烦扰

都失去了量度 他宣泄了味道
开心极为恐怖 未能做到 怀着笑走半里路途
只有睡眠 祈求能梦到你睡袍
甚么结果 你忧心天空之中寻觅我出路

我心不再跳 恐怕有别人围绕
盛世在摇 晚风在摇 多烦扰

已放弃世界 以安息的心 停顿了
过去过去 风景永远炫燿
大概放弃世界 我滞留何地并无重要
若世间关注我越少 撩动我的痛爱也越少

每一天过了 讨厌与未来缠绕

泪腺动摇 渗於浪潮的微笑


Thursday, October 05, 2006

Happy Birthday XDD!

It's baby's 26th birthday! We've gathered all your favorite things on this special day...

Eat-All-You-Can buffet! One of xdd's favorite activities. Eat! She luved buffets. Courtesy Angel-Meh.

Thank you Swap the Jiefu!!! Swap spent days, took leave and made this for xdd. It's got beautiful crystal beaded angels. Took Swap about 1 day to make just 1 angel! Alas! It's too big, can't fit into xdd's home. It's now sitting in Swap n Eloise's home as xdd's altar. Baby, u dun know how lucky I feel to have friends like them...It was you who maintained the frenship, kept everyone together. I will treasure you gals. "Love all of you! GP frens!"

Because of you, I found true friends and the angel family. Thank you Angela baby. Your kindred spirit never dies, affecting everyone of us deeply as we move on.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

2 months


总是不经意的想起 你喜欢哼的那首歌曲 
一样温柔低吟 依旧牵动我的心 
我曾寻寻觅觅 想在文字里寻找爱情 
才发现最美的诗句 原来都在你眸里 

爱是你眼里的一首情歌 轻扬着飘逸旋律 
让我不知不觉的陶醉在 你缠绕的深情 
爱是你眼里的一首情歌 轻拨弄我的心弦 
让我不由自主更 深爱着你

This was one of XDD's favorite songs, by 刘雨晨(I think! Not the guo1 mei3 mei3 version). Very poetic lyrics. She's been gone for 2 months now. Everything about her is still very vivid. Down to details like :
- how she used to call me "Dear Deer"
- her hopping ard at home with her lil pony tail bouncing
- her skinny back view while she puts on make up (always takes ages. can take a nap while waiting ah!)
- her bony arms reaching out to me, telling me "ESP!!"
- her itchy hands. Must traverse every single shop in the shopping mall and touch touch everything.
- her FAQ :
> "Dear Deer, am I pretty today? "
> "Dear Deer, that ger pretty hoh? " (Must say "Nono! U r prettier." Immediately!)
> "Dear Deer, how do you know u love me? "
> "Dear Deer, if I leave u, how long'd u remember me for? "
> "Dear Deer, I m hungry!! Where to eat? Feel like drinking hot soup."
> "Dear Deer, m I fat? "

Can't forget the cold n lonely atmosphere in the hospice that day. Even though we were surrounded by dozens of friends. I m numbering my days for her. Some might say it's not the right way to live, but I just feel like doing that for now can?

Me going to visit her during lunch today. Will play her favorite hymns. Gonna include the song above and her other fav mp3s.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

XDD's furnished home

Dropped by on Sunday. Was delighted to see carvings on the stone done at last! So we happily put up the long awaited deco. Angel-Ma recorded some hymns for xdd. The 2 teeny thingies dangling beside her photo r dragonfly earrings. Cute eh?!

Really hope tt xdd has forgotten us already. Cos Angels dun suffer like mortals do. Since she's with God, she shd be having great fun. The kinda life she deserves. Perhaps 10 years on earth is equivalent to 10 days in heaven. Hmmm...If heaven's really that fun and happy times pass real quick, 10 years would really feel like 10 days there. Great! Baby!! C u in about 30-heaven-days!

Friday, June 30, 2006

Miniatures for Princess

Can't wait to furnish baby's new home! Got lotsa cutie stuffs for her. Her extension's not ready yet though. Anyway, this means more time to prepare the deco. Let's see wat we've got...

That's Fuwa Fuwa! Got it from Kinokuniya. That mini lunch is from Action City. The choco tarts on the RHS of the pic are from United Sq. Dressing Kit's from Sotong. Thanks Sotong!

Got a few more boxes of miniatures from actioncity just now. *excited! They've got several collections and you wun know what u r gonna get.

Next off...Some dessert and sushis! Gosh...Think I'm addicted to collecting miniatures already. It's amazing how precise the Japs r with such stuffs. Actually I've got lots more back there....E.g. strawberry sundae, breakfast set, pet dog and kennel, tuips, etc. Too lazy to get all the pics up here. Next time bah...

Yes, you guys r right...I should not try to forget her and should focus on appreciating what she's left behind for me, instead of grieving on what I've lost. Faith in God, Fond Memories, Angel-Family, a bunch of great pals, etc. Most important of all, Love! "What is Love?" is outta my FAQ list forever.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

1 month

Yes...It's been a month....A long and dreadful month....1 month's supposed to be a short time. But lotsa things happened, did lotsa things. Still can't believe that she's just gone. How long do I have to wait before I can join her. Probably a few more decades? ASAP I hope. Meanwhile, gotta try to get over this and move on. But how to forget something when u r constantly reminded of it? Wherever I go, watever I do, she's there. Really think I shd just get the hell outta SG forever. Change my name, profession, etc. That'd perhaps be the only way to erase and restart.

Anyway, thank God for having Angel-Bah, Angel-Mah, Angel-Meh, GP frens around, always trying to make sure I m alright. More time!!! I'd definitely be more positive by the next posting...

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