15/11 Pillow and Love :p

This is how my pillow was like every morning last month when I was losing my hair everyday! Its quite irritating cos when I turned to my side, some of the hair will stick to my face and tickles me.

Woke up this morning feeling slightly down.Luckily I managed to sleep last night. The night before was horrible, I woke up at 2am with an excruciating pain in my upper abdomen. Cried in my parents' room, whole family panicked and I thought I could be dying. The pain was so bad, after trying to tolerate it for 15 minutes, I gave in to my family's request and agreed to go to SGH A&E.

On a pain score of 1-10, mine was definitely 9-10 when it started. I forced myself to puke several times on the taxi into a plastic bag. Deer was already at A&E waiting for me with wheelchair, wheeled me right into critical care dept the moment I reached.

A young doctor insisted on giving me a drip, which I HATE cos that means having to inject a plug into the back of my hand :( That's a real thick needle which sticks into your flesh then withdraws leaving a tubing behind.

Then an Indian doctor came in, asked me lots of questions only to go through my previous CT scan, frightened me by telling me its the cancer that's on my abdomen lining that's causing the pain. I don't think that's true because Dr See has never told me anything like that. I feel that it's either the liquid itself causing the pain, or the sluggish guts trapping wind.

I insisted on leaving the hospital after the pain subsided on its own at around 6a.m. My sis and deer was with me all the while, mum n dad went home first to make some food for me. Slept till 2 plus yesterday afternoon.

I'm so afraid this pain is really what the Indian doctor suggests and there might be future seizures. What kind of life is one that's full of unexpected PAINFUL seizures? I can only pray now that my positivity keeps such misfortunes away. Somehow, pain is something that allows negative thoughts to creep back into my life.

Never mind, there are always great things to focus on. This conversation this morning with deer is definitely something to spur myself up, or at least I try a little.
This is my deer, always encouraging me, loving me, caring for me like how my own family members do. As if I was born to be loved, I thoroughly get to enjoy not only my Mum's, Dad's and sister's selfless care, deardeer's constant assurance makes me feel better in times of despair.