09/12 A FRIDAY WITH ROS IN BATAM

Just got home from chemo 2b. It goes like this, every chemo consists of one 2 Hour IV drip thingy and 7 days of tablets. Its around 10 tablets per day and the side effects are sickening. Then I rest for a week and do the same thing again for another week. That will be one cycle.
This is the drip and IV thing I was talking about, bags of liquid n chemicals dripping into the arm throught lots of tubes and needle.
Before the dripping starts, some anti-nausea medication has to be injected into my arm first. The weird thing is, those 2 injections causes nausea and depression almost immediately.
Feel so sick n uncomfortable after the injections cos my stomach always got this impulse to turn itself inside out, and the tip of my spinal cord near the backside will have horrible pins and needles.
However not to worry, the discomfort lasts for around 2 hours while the pins n needles around 5 minutes. Still bearable, just sickening.
I had done 1a and 1b, that's one cycle. Then 2a and today 2b, that's another complete cycle. Next session will be on the 22nd Dec Thurs cos Dr See will be on leave on the 23rd. That means I've gotta bear with the side effects of chemo on the 24th n 25th while everyone else gets to go for christmas parties!

That's gonna feel so much like yesterday when everybody can dance their hearts out after midnight while I behaved like Cinderella in suede boots.Btw, this is me in my boots but cos my house floor is very dark green, its quite difficult to see them :( Again to prove that I'm narcisstic beyond hope, my eyes are like slanted cos I wanted sis to take picture yet I can't tear my eyes away from my own reflection in the full-length mirror beside her. Wahahahha, love yourself!

Then tonight n tomorrow night deer is stuck in batam with her company people, feel a bit odd without her in sg.

Think of it another way, at least I'm running back home to the love of my family last night. Daddy actually waited downstairs for me with mummy, so that he can help me carry deer's laptop upstairs. Deer downloaded Chicken Little into her lappie so I can watch it during chemo today.

Though Deer not around in Sg with me, I'm really glad she promised not to smoke, drink alcohol n eat poultry. She also made sure she will contact me every 3 hours in case I'm paranoid abt her safety or I'm bored. Physical presence is important but okies lets take its as 小别胜新婚！

---------------------------------------------Dinner----------------------------------------------

Had kangkong, bittergourd and sea bass with white rice tonight. Brown rice is super nutritious and non-fattening but my gastric will have problems digesting after chemo, thus gotta eat the simple refine stuff tonight. Nowadays my mum will cook some fish and also stir-fry vegetables, last time it used to be fully steamed vege n rice only!
This is what I used to cook for an all-organic meal, brown rice, steamed kangkong, steamed ladies' fingers and steamed broccoli. Very bland stuff with minimal miso paste seasoning and grapeseed oil. Anyone can eat a hundred plates and not get fat.






I tried to blend hazelnuts then add water and frutose to make hazelnut paste dessert that night too. My nails were so nice then!!! I paint n deco myself one....but today my nails like shit, the polish half gone le but I got no energy to repaint.
Ros posing for me. Everyone likes the hazelnut paste except for me, I prefer hazelnut pralines choco more. Talking about the past now reminds me of the 30 over birds my mum bought once to let some tibetan monks free in my house. Magnificent sight the little birds, baby Wawa was so fascinated by them, MUST blog about them next time.

At dinner just now, we were talking about how long meimei and BL together already. She say 1 year 3 months and its their anni today, I feel a bit bad cos I know she's staying home to accompany me as its my chemo day. Anyway Dad commented, " wah so long! already confirm le then." Me and mum immediately protested, " such a short time only!" I was with my first ex for almost 3 years then my last ex for almost 2 years, still don't feel that was significant enough.

Dad: Together for 1 yr plus, still together very good, must be confirm le.

Mum: Some couples 40 years also can break up.

Sis: Wah someone hint hint liao.

Mum: Cos the man unfaithful mah, I tell you be careful ah!

Dad: can seperate still good, most scary is those who 分不开 already...(hinting that my mum tied him down? :p )

Everyone: hahahahaha

Me(with tears in my eyes, trying not to let anyone see) was thinking in my heart. Worse should be only few years, don't wanna 分开 but gotta be seperated. I suddenly feel so bad towards Deer. Sometimes I wanna tell you, I'm so sorry I didn't take care of my body and got cancer. Its so unfair for you to have to go through all these with me.
If I were to die and leave you alone in this world, I cannot imagine the pain you will have to bear with. Same for my family, everytime I think of the pain and sorrow I might cause my loved ones, I feel so helpless.

Okies enough of negative stuff *yanks my non-existent hair and pulls myself out of depressing thoughts*

Look up folder for funy pictures.....hmmm. Have I recorded this before?
Took this picture in Taka side entrance. Used to smoke outside this entrance cos quite obscure. Yes I've quited smoking already, c'mon I got cancer leh!! Of cos I stop smoking! Xiao ah!
See the little sign I was pointing at? Never noticed it but when I did...HILARIOUS!
The management of Taka actually worried that shoppers might be so stupid to KIAP their fingers into the hinges of the glass door?! And the picture was so funny, got big red bloody detached finger drawn to accentuate the effects.
*paranoia sets in* oh no, I better be careful when I use that door nowadays after this mean entry.

Yeah! meimei so sweet, she's not going to ECP to join her friends cos I said don't want her to 'cultivate' bad habit of going out only after dinner to hang out. I better give this a closure so she can start reading.