27/03/06 A NEW DOCTOR?

Mummy received this phonecall from Ida auntie, who told her of this friend that invited a 'doctor' (whom I suspect is probably a Tibetan monk?) to Singapore for a short stay and to help the sick. They decided I am to go visit this person today.

I've got changed and is all ready to oblige. "We cannot just rely on western medi n chinese medi right? Must try all ways right? One might just work! :)" Mummy seems to be the emblem of both positivity and negativity in one body. She's not exactly confident the usual stuff will cure me, yet she is always so full of hope.

I'm starting to feel the dread I usually feel on Chemo days. Perhaps it's because Thursday is approaching and I don't feel any better physically? Once upon a time, there was this DAY when my tummy just felt so good. It almost wasn't bloated at all that day, the fluid went down a lot and my waist felt significantly trimmer. Best of all, that meant my CA125 (a tumour marker in the blood) is low, maybe not within the normal <35 range but should be below 70 then.

I should be required to do a CT scan soon again judging from the size of my tummy. I feel pure disgust from the infinite number of giant glasses of pink liquid I've got to drink, the hot medi pumped into the veins of my arms, the most sickening is of course worrying about what the scan will show and how helpless I will be. Will there be more tumour? Fluid? Or will there be less? I'm also worried about the blood test this coming Wednesday, or rather, the results available on Thursday. Will my CA125 rise above 100? Will it be around the same? Or will it be miraculously low?