18/11 Sad Little Thoughts

I cried again. While reading about Harry who thought he saw his father conjuring a patronus to save him from the dementors. I guess it made me think about my own condition. Wondering how my loved ones will feel after I pass away, maybe they will also imagine seeing me around when I couldn't be.

I know it's a real negative thought but I cannot brush it out of my mind, I feel guilty that I might leave behind people who love me. But life is like that? It's either A leaves first or B leaves first, however I might be leaving much sooner maybe.

Reading about Harry and Hermione going back in time also made me think of something else. If life has been predestined, aren't we just like a vcd, dvd or video tape? Every event was in actual fact recorded a long time ago.

Okies, gotta face life as it is. Since I'm only getting a little bit of pains here and there today, I shall be POSITIVE! I'm not seeing death today, so can't figure out why I'm gonna die in the near future. Shall go to NCC for my appointment with the social worker Serena and Dr See, then try to find a nice pair of boots to buy :p