20/04/06 BACK HOME

I'm finally sent home by an ambulance today, can't blog much, because I have difficulty sitting up. My wound is still oozing badly. The cancer fluid in my tummy is now so much I can't really breathe properly.

Today a pastor from Taiwan came to my house and converted my and my mum. He actually cured my mum's long-short arm miraculously.

Anyway, it's nice to be back, I was going insane in the hospital.

16/04/06 RESTITCHING

Just gave xdd a call to check on her. She feels much stronger today. Great!! She's recovering from the op!! *cheers.

2 days ago, which was Good Friday...Dr re-stitchedher op wound. Her stomach bloated up quite fast, due to the cancer. As a result, her tummy was so stretched, till her op wound tore apart. Some of the staples tore her skin and came off. So Dr came in as an urgent case. The needle he used looked like a mini parang. With the mini parang, he gave xdd more than 10 stitches. Poor baby, she screamed and wailed.

She hasn't resumed her diet. Dr said her gut's distended...Hope she cn start eating soon...We all know eating makes her happy. We sneaked in a bowl of dessert last night. No choice, she begged and bugged us for it. *pinch u notti doudou.

K I m off to see her....Way to go xiaodoudou!!!

12/04/06 HYSTERIC XIAODOUDOU

She seemed alright earlier in the day. So I fetched her my laptop during lunchtime, as requested. Guess she was feeling extremely bored now that her new ward does not have TV. Thought she was doing fine, sitting up, playing games, getting her mind off the pain.

Alas, I heard bad news from her mum and sis when I came by after work. Dr gave her blood transfusion, as she lost too much of em during the op. After a while, she started feeling uneasy. Emotionally, I guess...She hasn't been eating/drinking anything for the past 1 week. Plus the constant pain, etc. So her emotions got the better of her. She screamed, pulled out whatever tubes that were attached to her. Nurses tried to calm her down...One of them even got hit by her. Gosh...Must've been scary, judging from the worried look on her mum and sis's faces. "Xiaodoudou, please dun do it again. U notti baby." Had a good talk with her about being more logical. Hope she wdn't think too much and complicate the situation outta nothing at all.

She had rosy cheeks after the blood transfusion. *cute!!! Today's 15th day of the Lunar Calendar month. Gonna turn vegetarian!

11/04/06 POST-OPERATION

Finally!!! After resting for 2 days in the high dependency ward, xiaodoudou is now in the normal ward. Means everything's stabilised. No more morphine. Dun know if tis good or bad. Cos morphine-less means pain. Yup, she's in pain again. From the operation, she's got 28 staples on the wound. It's as though some1 cut her entire stomach into 2. Really worried abt how her skin's gonna react to the staples, cos she's allergic to metal.

With the pain, she said she understands how cruel it is to slaughter animals and how painful they must've felt. So the angels are gonna turn vegetarians!! I dun mind turning vegetarian...Dun really like meat anyway. *thinking about delicious vegetarian bee hoon...

She wants me to apologise to Mok and Eve for chasing them off. Sorry...She was suffering from pain tt's y...Pls dun take it to heart.

A message to visitors : Please only bring yourself and your most positive spirits. Preferrably no gifts. Else xiaodoudou's mum gotta carry lotsa things home. And there's limited space in her tiny ward.

Let's think about xiaodoudou and chant...南无消灾延寿药师佛 (nan...mo...xiao...zai...yan...shou...yao...shi...fo)

08/04/06 OPERATION DAY

Payed xiaodoudou a visit at the hospital this afternoon during lunch time. Wanted to give her as much moral support as possible. She updated me on happenings while I was away at work. The nurse apparently forgot something and screwed up the morphine drug. Xiaodoudou's blood back-flowed into the morphine like this...

Bloody Morphine!

"But Nurse, you are forgiven! Though u made a mistake, u've done a hundred other good things, taking good care of xiaodoudou and other patients." Other than the machine above, xiaodoudou was also attached to this one below...

That thingy above sucks out liquid/gas from her gastric. It helped her a great deal, reliefing her from pain due to the bloating.

Positive doudou before Op

At abt 3:30PM, the operation started. My handphone rang non-stop. Her friends SMSed me every other hour to check on her progress. Everyone was ultra worried. At about 8PM, her op was done. We didn't get to see her till 11:30PM, cos she was under post-op observation. She was then transferred to the High Dependency Ward and will be there for the next 2 days or so till everything's stabilised. We were all delighted to see her deflated stomach.

"You r so damn brave bb!! U r my heroine princess!! *melts"

Hurray!!! 3 cheers for xiaodoudou!!! U made it!!!

06/04/06 CONSTANT SEVERE PAIN

Not a very good day. Her stomach is super stretched, like being pregnant for 8 months. It's a million times worse than being pregnant. Imagine all the cancerous jelly in the abdomen squeezing the intestines. The doctor has increased her morphine intake on the machine to 2ml/hour. They're gonna run another blood test for her at 6am tomorrow. Then she'd be sent for an emergency operation either friday or saturday. ASAP Please!!!! The pain's unbearable!!!

xiaodoudou said [crying] "I've never felt such immense pain...It's constant and totally unbearable"

Must be real bad, cos xiaodoudou's threshold for pain is very high. When will the suffering stop? God please help her tide thru this.

Good thing the nurses are very nice, checking out on her as often as possible, consoling her, doing everything they can to relief her of the pain. The counsellor came by again. He's suffering from cancer as well. Still under treatment after 10 years. He dropped by to check out on xiaodoudou after collecting his medicine from NCC. Thank God she's blessed with nice, supportive, uplifting pple.

06/04/06 A BETTER XIAODOUDOU

Glad to inform all that xiaodoudou is much better today. At least she could joke and move about a bit. No more fever. The rubber tube really helps. She looks like a super cutie elephant with that rubber tube sticking outta her nose.

Cutie Dou Dou

Cheerful Dou Dou (gorgeous as ever)

They will do a count on her white blood cells on Friday. If alls well, they'd perform the operation on Sat or Sun. Way to go doudou!! U can make it!! She was pretty terrified of the idea of going thru another op. But a counsellor came by and had a long Q & A session with her to counter her fears and uncertainties.

Thanks a million for all the prayers, support, gifts, etc! 明天会更好！

05/04/06 PROGRESS REPORT

xiaodoudou's still quite weak at this moment. Her body temperature fluctuates between 37.4 and 38. The Doctor said tt she saw fluid in her gastric from the XRay. A nurse who looked like Nanny McPhee came by and stuffed a long rubber tube through her nose into her gastric. Then she drew out abt 2 mugs of grey color liquid from xiaodoudou's gastric. Can't drink or talk much with the tube in her, cos it'll hurt.

Thanks all for the visits, support, gifts. Definitely lifted her spirits a great deal. Zzzz

03/04/06 MORE UPDATES

Just came back from the hospital. She's sleeping soundly now. Her sister's with her tonight. Hope her fever's gone by now. She rejected the glucose drip fr the hospital, refused to eat. Tt's why it got to her. Plus immune system's low, esp after chemo. I stood helplessly, watching the doctor draw a thick syringe of her blood for bacterial tests. Her parents looked extremely worried, praying, pacing about...Maybe the prayers really worked. Her fever subsided from 37.9 to 37.5 :D

Doctor said she cd go hm only if she cd eat 3 full meals and not feel the pain. Just hope she wun have to rely on morphin ASAP. It's making her drowsy and giddy all the time.

Sweetest dreamz my princess...May you wake up to a pain-free day...Luvin you...Amen

02/04/06 XIAODOUDOU BBL

Ros here, blogging on behalf of xiaodoudou. She's now bedridden in the hospital, attached to machines that inject morphin,bascopan (painkillers). Three days ago, she felt an acute pain in the stomach. We rushed her to A&E. The scans showed that accumulation of fluid pushed her intestines to one side of the body, causing severe pain. The best thing they can do now, is to put her on morphin to ease the pain. She's got no appetite, probably cos of the morphin, probably cos she's afraid of the pain everytime her stomach tries to digest.

She'll be undergoing an operation in about two weeks' time. Doctors will remove as much cancer as possible during the op. She'll then continue with chemo after her recovery from op.

Sometimes I'd pinch myself and hope to wake up from this horrible nightmare. Doesn't work...Tis reality...Gotta face it...Gotta pray hard.

k....That's it for now. More updates next time...Hopefully positive ones